Why are you doing what you are doing? How did you know it will pay off?
Questions that I get asked very often. It´s not just about my job or my garden or my hobbies.
For example I got asked by a friend of mine who also runs her own company “why don´t you just buy that? What´s the reason you have your basic lifestyle if you could just buy it?”
Another friend of mine ask me “But why do you want to drive an electric car and do all of the ecological things? What for, who is giving you credit for that? Who is seeing it?”
Or “How did you know what you want to do in your life? When did you find out that that is the right choice for you?”
Me and hopefully you as well
All these questions have one answer in my humble opinion. I follow my intuition and what feels good and right for me.
I´m not interested to be seen by others or even liked by them for what I´m doing. I need to feel good about my choices and my life. No one else needs to like that.
I know it is easier said than done to know for yourself what is right and to follow your intuition. I wasn´t always like that either. I remember during my studies, when I calculated my expanses to pay my studies and not being sure if I could effort certain things at that time.
I structured or even better over structured myself to make things happen. I met my goals but to which costs? To not go on vacation because I didn´t have the time or taking on more jobs to create more savings?
In the end all of that creates uncertainties, in my example the belief “I will not be good enough”, “I will not have enough money to finish my studies” and “I will not be secure enough”.
To get to know yourself, it´s important to get to know your core values. One of mine is security. After my studies and my one year of unemployment I realized that a plan and the security that comes with it is nothing else than an illusion. I rather forced myself to think, that if I do this, that will be the outcome and I will be secure.
Now it´s interesting how I actually developed my value of security? Of cause my upbringing is one factor in it, but as I didn´t live at home for the past 5 years, how does it still affect me?
The answer is behavioral patterns, ways we always behaved and we are trained to do.
Find your patterns
With no job on the line I also started to question my patterns. Rather unconsciously at that time but still effective. I always like to compare it to the navigation system in our cars.
I want to get to a new destination and just put it in to the navigation system with the belief it will get me there the fastest or shorts way possible. It´s the same thing like “You do get you’re a-level, you do study, you will get yourself a job, you will build a house, you will have a family, …!”
What that very helpful navigation system (aka trained behavioral patterns) is indeed doing, on one hand it´s making me use my intuition less and less, on the other hand it discredit my belief in my own abilities to get there.
Renew your patterns
Every pattern that we learned over the years is basically a copy of someone else´s behavior. That doesn´t need to be bad after all, but some of these patterns are rather unhelpful for us in our here and now daily life.
By literally stopping to use my navigation system, I definitely felt unsecure very often and also had the feeling of not knowing where I am and sometimes even who I am, but that is a feeling that is changing after a while. I promise.
Now whenever a new task, offer or choice is coming up. I always ask myself “How can I do it differently from my usual patterns?” I follow my intuition and not what someone else is expecting of me.
People often see my choices as strange and sometimes even unorthodox but in the end I feel good with it and it pays off.
Some examples are getting my office in the most uncommon place where you find no offices put lots of green, flats and parking lots; having a garden with 30 years, opining up my company with 27 years, investing 5.000 € of my income annually for further education.
It took me 27 years to find out what I want to do with my life. I´m still not done with that task and I know I will make choices other people will not understand or like and that´s OK.
I really like to live with old things, I love to restore furniture that other people throw away, I love to learn new things about people and myself and yes you can make a living out of all of these things.
To live my life the best way possible, I need to align my choices to my core value, look for what feels good/secure to me. The positive part to that is you will always inspire others with new ideas and new ways of doing things.
What are you really good at?
How do you inspire people?